I was raised Lutheran. We were very involved in church: My mother played the organ at church every week, I was in plays, and served in the altar for several years. When I was 8 years old, my father 
lost his eye in a trucking accident and our middle-class life was gone. We were now receiving government assistance. I noticed quickly that people at church were treating us differently. We were not invited to activities anymore, and people would just walk by us without acknowledging us. As I got older, this behavior really started to upset me. I started wanting to rebel whenever I went to church, and I really didn’t like how that made me feel. I realized that just because you said you were a Christian, didn’t mean that you acted like one. By the time I was 16 years old, I swore I would never go back to church again.
Fast forward many, many years, and I met my husband, Seth, who was looking for a religion he could embrace. I still was not interested in ever stepping foot inside a church, but fully supported my husband, and I did enjoy hearing about his religious journey. When my husband started talking about Orthodoxy, I really appreciated all the traditions, and how they even admitted they don’t have all the answers. My interest was piqued, but I still wasn’t ready to even contemplate attending a church.
In the summer of 2020, I flew to Alaska for my nephew’s wedding. By this time my health had improved enough that I didn’t want to stay home all the time. I wanted to get out and volunteer and make some friends. While I was driving around Alaska, I did a lot of contemplation. I really wanted to be part of a community. I kept thinking of how much my husband enjoyed his first church service at St. John’s. Maybe it was all the Russian Orthodox churches I was driving by, or how close you feel to God surrounded by all those majestic mountains, but I decided to attend a church service. I still remember my first church service. I had no idea what was going on, but I loved it! I instantly fell in love with the beautiful chanting and all the icons around the church. I also couldn’t believe how nice and accepting everyone was! It was the opposite of what I was accustomed to.
I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would want to volunteer in the bookstore, and especially get baptized, but I feel so at peace when I am at church. I realized early on how important church had become to me when my mother really started to decline, and I just wanted to go to church and pray. It was a long journey, finding my way back to God. It was full of a lot of ups and downs, but I truly believe I am exactly where I need to be.
