Growing up Lutheran, I drifted from faith in college but still had big spiritual questions. Believing Christianity was irrelevant, I dabbled in Eastern religions and dropped out of college to 
study meditation at an ashram in India. Returning to the U.S. after a year, I felt disoriented, and shelved my spiritual search. Mo and I met in Portland in 1997, married and quickly had three kids. When Mo suggested church for them, I resisted but grudgingly relented and we started attending a local Evangelical mega-church. I joined the worship band, playing drums but never really believing the Gospel until 2006, when the scales suddenly fell from my eyes.
Slowly growing in faith, years later, I was asked to be a Church Elder. Feeling the need to be knowledgeable, I studied Reformed theology, but it left me unsettled, especially after a good friend left his family and the church for an alternative lifestyle. My studies prompted difficult questions like, “Can you lose your salvation?”
In 2018, a ladder accident left me with chronic concussion headaches. Confined to dark, silent rooms, I discovered the Jesus Prayer, which became my lifeline, offering relief from my physical and spiritual pain. Curious, I hungered to read more about it, uncovering, in my reading, the Church Fathers, the Philokalia, pre-1517 Church history and Orthodoxy—all absent from my evangelical experience.
I was curious about Orthodoxy, so in late 2020 I Googled “Orthodox Church Beaverton” and found St. John. I made an appointment to talk with Father Matthew and after pleasantries, he asked, “How can I help you?” I said, “I’ve got a problem. I’m a Presbyterian elder at the church I’ve attended with my wife and children for 20 years, and it’s become apparent to me that the Orthodox Church is the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church.” He smiled kindly, and said, “You do have a problem.”
I asked for, and he gave me a prayer rule. I hid my new prayer book at home like illicit contraband and snuck around Mo to hide my prayer time. At the time Mo and I were feeling the call for quieter, traditional, reverent and sacred worship. I suggested Vespers at St. John’s, but Mo initially declined. Following Father’s wise advice, I prayed for patience. And I kept my heart set on the Church.
Three months later, Mo unexpectedly suggested that we attend St. John’s for Liturgy. I was surprised but we went and soon began attending regularly in early Lent of 2022. We loved it but faced challenges: What about our kids? How could we leave behind our beloved church friends? Yet, it soon became obvious that St. John was what we were looking for. On Great and Holy Saturday 2023, we were received into the Orthodox Church. Last year after our second Pascha at St. John, I asked a “cradle” Orthodox member, “Does Pascha get deeper and more transformative every year?” She smiled and said, “It just gets better and better.” After just completing our third Pascha at St. John, I feel blessed to say that, after a lifetime of searching, I can finally call the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church, home
